The Elements of this New Life....

So fast forward to now. I was going to spend time catching you up on the last 7 weeks. But decided to drop you directly into now, today, because this is what is happening. I trust the whole process will emerge as I continue (as I'm beginning to have an inkling that healing has something to do with fully living the mystery, the unknown of each moment.)

Today my new (used) car arrives. Finally, 8 weeks after the accident. This idea of an accident is even in question today. As last night I saw a fellow shamanic practitioner friend who greeted me with a grin and the words, "your brain didn't fall out!" I liked her sense of humor, but have to admit, I was stunned. "Did you hear," I asked her?  "Hear what" she replied?  She laughed and said, "Last time we journeyed together you had a vision that your brain fell out and you couldn't find it." "But it didn't," she grinned.

The words that were running thru my brain at that particular moment were, "holy s..t, holy s..t", a silent inner mantra as I tried to make sense of what she had just said. I just stared at her, on the verge of maniacal laughter. "Well...," I said slowly, "that's really interesting. I recently had a car accident, got a severe concussion and am now working with PCS (post concussion syndrome). I feel like my brain feel out and I can't find it."

It was her turn to stare blankly at me.  Since we were both late for a meeting, we kind of left the conversation there.  Later, at home, I rummaged through journals to find a record of that particular vision. Couldn't find any record. Leaves me wondering. Were my helping spirits giving me a premonition of what was to come?

It traveled 2000 miles to get here. 

Meanwhile, the Element has arrived. Honda Element that is. The (pun intended) new element of my life. The element that will cart me from place to place. My black CR-V has been replaced by a Burnt Orange Element. There's something fitting about this. Perhaps my transforming self needs a new exterior persona, from dark into blazing color,  the phoenix rising from the ashes, the burnt orange phoenix.  Well, check that off the list. it's taken care of.

Two days after the accident, when I was saying good-bye to the CR-V, which had only been with me for 10 short months, I naturally, spoke with the spirit of the car.  The same spirit I had spoken to on the day I purchased that black steed, when it said it was in my life to help me "step fully onto my shamanic path."  Honestly, I should have asked for more info then, as a cliff diving adventure together was not the way I expected "stepping more fully on the path" to emerge. When I said good-bye, I thanked that spirit for keeping me quite safe in a rather treacherous situation, no broken bones, only a trickle of blood.  I wondered, was it the spirit that kept the driver's side of the vehicle completely unscratched, so that I would be able to get out of the car myself, while the passenger side was completely obliterated? Was this an adventure in learning to trust an 'unseen' world?  Doing so is important for a shamanic practitioner.

That day I said goodbye to the CR-V, I didn't really have any inkling how much of another lifetime I was saying goodbye to. I still cringe a little each time I see a black CR-V on the road. I realize I can't quite look directly at it. I miss my CR-V. I miss the wild traveling spirit of it. I miss the person I was before I had a traumatic brain injury, when my right arm did all the things it's habitually done for years, before my left arm had to step up to the plate. Just now as I write this, I realize, it's the 'passenger side' of my body that's not working so well right now. And, how ironic, and it's the top of this body-vehicle (my brain) that's a bit wonky. Hmmmm...there's a metaphor in there somewhere. 

Slow forward... (never even bother to attempt purchasing a car during mercury retrograde.)

After seeing the car, post-accident, there was never any doubt I would replace it with another Honda. While the CR-V only gets 3 out of 5 stars for safety rating in a rollover, mine fell 40+ feet in the air before landing on it's roof.  Yet, there was only a slightly crunched roof edge on the passenger side, a small spider crack in the windshield. Safety ratings are one thing. Living through an accident in your car is another.


So, now there is a new spirit to establish a relationship with, the spirit of the Orange Honda Element who sprinkled a trail of purple magic from Massachusetts to Colorado, as she traveled the miles on an American Auto Transport car carrier.  This orange Element(al) spirit is a bit of a pixie. She's rather light, has a vintage kind of feel. She moves a little slower. She's artsy, even impish, a bit like I am after 10pm. I wonder what adventures we will share. I wonder who is this new me emerging who will travel about in  an orange car? What new life am I saying hello to?